Wasted Time

“If you set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.”

~ Margaret Thatcher

After much consideration i have decided to fully leave dlive! IN FACT I JUST DELETED MY ACCOUNT.

In July of 2019 I was in a bad spot. My wife just lost her job and I was being crippled with an array of health issues. I got into streaming because it was rather easy and it allowed me at the time to put aside my problems. I became obsessed with streaming and getting the goal of affiliate. In all this time though I compromised my ideals and allowed myself to be in association with people who regularly spat in the face of the things I held dear. Now I understand why they did this and in truth I hold no ill wishes towards them. I know the fault was in my choosing to associate myself with people who did not build me up in the good and moral things of life.

I began to accept behavior and language from people I did not myself find to be a benefit. The simple truth is that a lot of people on Dlive were antithetic to the things I treasured and knew to be fundamental to life. Now I do not want to paint a broad brush here and say there was no one there who was nice or understanding but the nature of the beast sort of speak was evident and for myself I began to see the writing on the wall.

I truly feel that in order to grow on a platform like Dlive you can’t talk truth about religion or politics. Do not get me wrong there are people there who do talk about these topics but many of these people have embedded their communities from other platforms. Nothing organic to Dlive was ever going to allow for free expression about what is truth. For example I criticized how another streamer’s dissonance. It was not taken well. I get that I probably did no good service by publicly speaking about it but I did not feel it would have been allowed for me to speak on his chat panel. It was a sad bookend to something I should have seen a mile away. This is part of the reason I have to step away from Dlive. It made me make poor choices and while that is not on Dlive per say it is just systemic of why I can’t be on that platform.

So here is where I stand on the whole matter. I will not be streaming on Dlive. If I stream it would be on another site but here is the problem Dlive was a much better solution then Twitch or Mixer. So now all you people over can now in your chat openly speak about how much you hate me despite what I tried to do to help support you. The wasted time is what makes my stomach turn. I wasted my time and my mind with some of these people. The truth is I was not allowed to be me because I knew deep down I would piss so many people off. I trigger people and the worst ones do me as well. Its like oil and water. So the reality is I am now just going to focus on writing, my podcasts, and making videos. I guess some of these people can follow me to Youtube and continue to give me grief there and I guess that is their time to waste.

In summary I realize that the content I wanted to create was not something best served on a site that focused only on streaming. As nice as some people where on Dlive the majority of them were toxic trolls and fake egomaniacs. I wish nothing but the best for many people there. It is sad because some of these people I was deluding myself to think they could ever be a real friend let alone a real person. So ends this chapter of my online life. The people who truly want to seek me out will know how to find me.

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